The Home Loaner's Nightmare

One year I went traveling to my daughter’s house to stay
Friends asked if they could use my house while I was yet away
I thought a moment and said of course! – what is the worst could be
A few less morsels in the ice chest and a few more crumbs to see.

Then just the night before return I ‘wakened with a start
For what I’d seen in my mind’s eye ‘twas enough to stop my heart
I lay there for a moment’s time gatherin’ my breath to think
And as my dream materialized, I felt my hopes begin to sink

I dreamt I returned to my abode my step quickening to the double
But when I turned onto the driveway I sensed the first big trouble
There at the front of my dear home stood a mountain of trash so high
That I became quite certain then that I could not get by.

I took a detour to the back to find another way in
And then I found the reason why I’d never claimed them kin.
There on the stoop I found, the crystal dish from Grandma
They’d used it for their doggy’s food – that ugly mutt named Brahma.

I sighed and reached on over to pull open the kitchen door
And then I felt the full brunt of this open house of horror
For there inside the kitchen was the true extent of problems
I knew then that they’d had with them ALL their little hoodlums

The ice chest stood wide open and the few things there now stank
The dishes piled within the sink gave off an odor rank
I took a step in further, and my foot stuck to the floor
And I realized then that there was even trouble more.

The beds had all been slept in with dirty feet and heads
And all of them still unmade – the linens piled upon the beds
The tub had a blackish ring ‘round inside and then around again
I could tell which tourist traps they’d seen and everywhere they’d been

I ran screaming from the house tripping over the mountain of trash
And then I realized how terrible my decision – and oh how awfully rash
But that was when I had awakened – torn from tormented slumber
And promised myself then and there, I’d never commit such blunder

So this I write as warning to all who might one day be travelin’
Whose friends or family call and say, “We thought we’d all be havin’
A great vacation time in your home while you are all away”
You might then think of some emergency why you yourself must STAY!

December 2003 - Sophia